


sunflower seeds

by indefensibleselfindulgence



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Trust Issues, pre-episode 43
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indefensibleselfindulgence/pseuds/indefensibleselfindulgence
Summary: Despite her best efforts, he's still hung up on the accent.





	sunflower seeds

**Author's Note:**

> this is kind of late huh 
> 
> not beta'd

They eat sunflower seeds on the deck of the Squall Eater and spit the shells into the ocean.  
  
Beau is up on the rail, weight pressing against a rope that comes up against her chest so that she doesn't fall into the ocean and Caleb settles for just leaning, close enough to make sure Beau didn't die if she fell overboard.  
  
He's not sure where the others are right now, where even Nott got off too, but Beau showed up with a bag of probably stolen sunflower seeds, and Caleb had nothing better to do. It's been a minute since they've had one of their fun talks too.  
  
Blue as far as the eye can see.  
  
Open ocean feels good, even if the salt sticks to them and there's no real way of getting it off. It's liberating, in a way he never expected it to be.  
  
“So...” He looks up, but Beau is staring out into the blue too. “Fjord and the Captain.”  
  
Straight to it then.  
  
“We warned him. He decided to ignore us.”  
  
“Yeah.” The shell clicks in her teeth. “I get it-” She spits it out, and Caleb watches the tiny black dots disappear into the foam. “She's hot, right. I get that- and the cult thing can be kind of mysterious? Or something?”  
  
“Or something is what I would go for, ja.”  
  
“And they have the whole same god worship thing going on. And she's like, a sea witch now.”  
  
“I'm waiting on the point.”  
  
“But we sunk an island.” Her voice is low, whispered like the crew isn't already aware.  
  
“Yes. We. We did do that.” She makes a noise of frustration and doesn't say anything, just clicking at more seeds. Caleb reaches into the bag and pops a few open himself. He's pretty sure he knows what she's going to say before she does and the necklace hangs heavy around his neck.  
  
“And he gets his dick wet anyway.”  
  
It's dangerous and reckless, and Caleb can't imagine how good the justification must be. Not that either of them know, of course. Caduceus whispered it to him over breakfast, and he whispered it to Beau while they were both below deck helping the bosun.  
  
No one else knew, better safe than sorry this time.  
  
“Should we assume he was doing it for the greater good?”  
  
“That's even grosser to think about, thanks.”  
  
There's a strong wind and the ship rocks with the force of it. He lifts a hand to Beau's back to keep her steady but she shrugs him off, muscles tenses to grab the rope in front of her.  
  
“Do you think it was good, at least?”  
  
“I've been trying not to think about it, actually.”  
  
There's a shriek and laughter from above them, and he recognizes Nott and Jester's voice without having to turn around. He has no idea who let them up into the crows nest.  
  
“We're not telling them.” Beau's legs dangle over the edge and click more sunflower seeds. “Jester would kill both of them.”  
  
“Would that be so bad?” That gets Beau to turn and stare at him.  
  
She looks worried, eyebrows raised and the hand holding the rope tense again.  
  
“Caleb? I thought we were good.”  
  
“It was a joke, relax.”  
  
“If we're good then why are we joking about letting Jester kill Fjord?” Her voice dips lower.  
  
“Zemnian humor.” He's ready to brush the entire thing off, but the way Beau looks at him telegraphs self-concern and barely there panic too well.  
  
“Caleb.”  
  
He considers walking away, letting it hang in the air until she forgets about it and this and we all move on from it. He considers it.  
  
“His accent is fake.”  
  
“God damn it, Caleb!”  
  
“I don't know why you're just okay with it- especially now. Especially with the island.”  
  
“Caleb-”  
  
“Beauregard.”  
  
“Caleb.” She says again. And then sighs, slow and low. “Caleb, I- we. We've got each other right?” She talks like he's four and an idiot. “We talked about this.”  
  
“We sunk an island of people because of him.” He says.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“So why are we just okay with it now?”  
  
“We're not- Look, I told you. I got you, okay? Watch each other's backs, trust each other, take our secret bullshit to the grave, I got you.”  
  
“Did he tell you any of his secret bullshit then?”  
  
“Listen, man-” She turns on the rail, facing him. “Drop it. He'll tell us. When he works up to it, he'll tell us.” He drops it. It's not worth her getting angry at him when it's just aggressive paranoia. “You trust me?”  
  
“Ja.”  
  
“I got you, okay? I swear. No tricks, no bullshit, Caleb. I'll talk to him.” She looks him up and down. “Tell me you're okay.”  
  
“There's nowhere to run in the middle of the ocean Beauregard.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always encouraged and very very very appreciated
> 
> talk[ to me here](http://iamalivenow.tumblr.com/)


End file.
